Therapeutic Equine Camp / Water Play at School / Pre-School Graduation / Mediation at Court / Milestone: Over 200 Appointments Attended / Rangers Games / Farm Visit / "The Great Race" VBS / Dinner and Swimming with Friends
Wednesday, June 1st - X had "Water Play Day" at school with lots of fun, wet activities. The final week of school has plenty of fun activities.
Thursday, June 2nd - X had graduation and our youngest son, Erich (21 years-old and who both kids love to be with), got to be there to watch the show and celebrate with X.He left a few days later, but enjoyed his time.
Monday, June 6th - Friday, June 10th - Equine (Horse) Camp for X. Late May we were made aware of an opportunity by "Friends of Wednesday's Child," (http://www.wedchild.org/) an incredible not-for-profit group created to support foster families. They were sending foster children to a half-day therapeutic horse camp in a town about an hour away, but the kids must have been in kindergarten for a year (they wanted kids that were already used to a classroom structure). Jack plead for X since he had been in pre-K all year (which had structure) and was already 5. Jack's plea fell on kind ears of the director and she made an exception. Each day we drove 1 1/2 hours (due to Dallas area traffic) and 1 hour back to this awesome camp (from 8:30 - 12:30).
X fired-up and branded a real cow hide, made daily crafts, learned how to track "bad guys" like a real Texas Ranger (which the tracker who taught the class really was), groomed and fed horses, went on hay rides and best of all - rode both bareback and with a saddle on horses every day.
At the beginning of the week, X was still in his mindset of, "I can't do this," but by the end of the week his confidence soared and he saw that he could. This was easily the most impacting, confidence-boosting thing he has done and we are very grateful for the opportunity. While we had to miss Tuesday due to court, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday Jack was there to record it all and share in his excitement and Friday Melinda got her chance to see all the improvements and celebrate his graduation.
Tuesday, June 7th - Melinda and Jack went to mediation at the Dallas County Court House. We were hoping and somewhat expecting that the birth parents would sign over their rights to the children (in exchange for an open adoption agreement that let them still see the boys on a regular basis).
Unofficially, we also agreed to (though it would not be part of the mediation) provide regular photos (via the Internet) and offer this blog for both birth parents and the maternal grandmother (who is very close with X and A) to keep up with what the boys were doing.
We were told that the only parties that can negotiate the terms of the termination of the parent rights are CPS and the birth parents (and their attorneys, of course) [UPDATE: THIS INFORMATION WAS INACCURATE. FOSTER PARENTS DO NEGOTIATE - READ 11/02/11]. We are only at the courthouse to be supportive of the process and, if asked by CPS, provide relevant information. CPS may also run into a negotiation that they may choose to ask our opinions about (since the official plan is to place the kids with us), but it is 100% CPS's discretion as to what they offer and accept. The boys are free and clear for adoption after the termination of the rights of the parents (whether through mediation or through a trial). Only then does CPS then offer the children to us for adoption and we have to agree to whatever stipulations they have made prior with the birth parents. If we refused the stipulations then we cannot adopt them. This is why it is critical that CPS know what we are willing to accept. If we refused to meet every six months (or whatever the condition was), then CPS will not allow us to adopt them since we are legally bound by whatever we sign and could be held in contempt of court if we do not meet all the conditions. That is why we wait (rather impatiently) in the lobby of the court house.
So, what happened? We were shocked to find out that the biological father's brand new court-appointed attorney (whom he had never even seen before) filed for a six month extension to the case. The entire time for children in foster care is supposed to be 12 months max (ending August 1st in this case). The just-appointed attorney had to take 7 weeks of emergency medical leave starting the very next day and that would put the date that she would be ready just days before the State-mandated 12 month window. All extensions granted are for six months. So now the new date would be February 1st. Fortunately, there are no extensions past the 18 months.
Both birth parents declined to agree to the mediation terms offered them and it was proposed a home study be done on two relatives. This also came as a surprise because we and CPS thought that we were past that point. A big disappointment, but at least we did not lose them.
RANGERS GAME - Despite all this, we had already RSVPed to the annual Covenant Kids' (our foster care / adoption agency) summer party at The Ballpark. Every year they get the official Texas Rangers pavilion and provide us with hot dogs, hamburgers, chips and tea before a Rangers baseball game. We then get tickets for block seats to the game set aside for all CK families. While walking over to the park, Melinda slipped and landed partially on X - hurting her long-time injured knee plus slightly injuring X. It was a traumatic event and X was more concerned that Melinda was crying than the pain he felt. After a bit of rest, Melinda insisted that we continue to The Ballpark. The kids made it to the 3rd inning before getting so antsy that we needed to leave. We did not expect to make it the whole game - there are not many things that A enjoys that involves sitting in a chair. We had some fun, took some photos and headed home - the end of a long day.
As we headed home, Melinda and I laughed at what a crazy day it had been and were thankful. No matter what ends up happening, we are a happy family now and we get to have X and A for this slice in time.
Over 200 Appointments Attended - In June we passed a new milestone. While not detailed as much in these blogs, we have a tremendous amount of mandatory appointments that the kids attend. X attends bi-weekly speech therapies, bi-weekly occupational therapies and weekly play therapies. A has weekly ECI play therapies. They also both go to bi-monthly psychologist visits and have doctor's or dentist appointments almost every month. In the last 11 months we have averaged 1.1 doctor or therapist appointments EVERY SINGLE WEEKDAY. Yes, you read that right. This does NOT include all the social, recreational or educational activities (e.g. X's bi-weekly speech appointments in school, other school-related events outside of school time).
Saturday, June 11th - After a week of Saddle Up, Rangers baseball and mediation, Jack still gets to do "Holds Training" with Covenant Kids. This is a reminder that we are still foster parents and, due to the extension granted, may have another 8 months of State of Texas foster and adoptive care compliance. It is insane the amount of paperwork generated and the amount of training we need to maintain to our license. While we will intend to attend adoption seminars for life (or at least until the kids are grown and out of the house), we could be happy with a lot less regulatory-related training.
Thursday, June 16th - Saturday, June 18th - Off to the Farm! We rescheduled a few appointments so we could get 3 days away from everything and just slow it down a little. Of course we had to plan this way in advance and get our foster care agency's approval since we were going over 48 hours with the kids, so things like this are never spontaneous.
Papa and Grandma Nelson (Jack's parents) had fun showing X and A the new baby chicks, riding all over the farm in the golf cart and tractors, exploring the woods, the trails and the ponds full of ducks, geese and swans and observing the cows and other livestock. X and A also played in the water, played with the dogs and just played with toys including bicycles and "Big Wheels." We got plenty of great photos to show the birth parents and just for the kids' memories later on.
While we would have liked to stay through Sunday, Jack volunteers to oversee the live multimedia of church service (which includes all the videotaped and live elements, 4 camera, PowerPoint slide shows, etc.). Rehearsal starts at 7:00 AM to get ready for the two church services (that end around 1:00 PM), so we always have to get home at a reasonable time on Saturday.
We really like the mega-church that we attend. We specifically chose it for the exceptionally strong moral and spiritual curriculum and the activities that they do with kids. This curriculum is so well developed that it is sold to other churches around the world.
Monday, June 20th - Friday, June 24th - From 6:00 - 9:00 each night X and A attend a full blown kids church extravaganza called "The Great Race." Some would consider this "vacation Bible school" (VBS). A mostly stays in his individual room and plays with toy and games (which he loves to do with his "friends"), builds crafts and listens to short lessons. He then goes out and jumps in the carefully-supervised bounce houses and plays with bigger toys. X does all this, plus learns lots of songs and line dances plus gets to enjoy the other insanely huge bounce houses with major obstacle course, gigantic slides and more. At 8:15 each night is the big evening show. Once again, Jack oversees the multimedia production part of the show. Each night it is a full-blown 45 minute play with lots of interaction with the hundreds of kids in audience, who "help" the characters choose to do the "right" things. Both kids look forward to the evening event and talk about it all day long. The late night show leaves them a little tired in the morning, so they sleep late.
Sunday, June 25th - Dinner and Swimming with the Joslins and Mitchells. Brand new friends of ours joined us and the Joslins for swimming and dinner at our house. Plenty of kids A and X's age running and splashing around.
Sunday, June 26th - Friends of Wednesdays Child (see above) offered us Texas Rangers game tickets, so we decided to try it again.We brought some healthy snacks and plenty of water and then also had Lemon Chills for dessert. This went about the same - 3 innings before the kids were ready to head home. X is learning the game, but A just does not care (which is not uncommon given his age). This also happened to be the night they gave away kids-sized official Texas Ranger gloves to everyone under 12, so both got a neat take-home present. We will buy them a soft bat and ball later this week and try a little batting practice.
Monday, June 27th - Melinda and Jack quietly celebrate 11 months having X and A.
Thursday, June 30th - A gets an ECI evaluation for preparing for school. Yes, he is still only 2, but State law requires that he be evaluated before his 3rd birth date to determine what services he might need when entering school. It is determined he will need very little in the way of educational supports and is on track for his age. He has come so far in the last 11 months - from not even speaking until not able to be quiet :-).
Immediately after the evaluation (around 5:00 PM) we head off to Houston to start a week-long vacation (see next month for details).
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